Aloha Everyone,
Over the last few years, my family and I have had more than their/our fair share of loss: One of my best friends, my best friend's father, my grandfather, my grandmother, then step grandmother passed... Then my father's oldest brother last year, and now my mother's older/oldest sister. All of these losses have gifted me with a shift in perspective and have opened me up in ways that I would not have had without them.
In watching my friends and family pass on through these last few years, I have observed a few things. One is that we never know when it is someone's time to go... Even when we know they are going, we never really know the last time we will see someone. We never know when that last moment will be.
It is of the utmost importance that we be gentle with each other. It is of the utmost importance that not just in those moments when they slip beyond the veil, that we are kind. That we hold them in the highest and purest form of grace, gratitude, love and forgiveness. In these moments just before they cross over, they are being birthed into a new Light, into a new way of being. This, in many ways, is their birthday! We must celebrate their transition and celebrate who they were in this life to us. Before they leave, we must wish them well on their journey and tell them that we love them, that they have enriched our lives, that we are grateful that they have been here and been a part of our lives.
What is most important about this is that we not wait until these last moments, if we are lucky enough to know that last moments are last moments. Every tiny moment of this life counts. Every moment is a moment to choose to see someone as the brilliant spirit that they are, to thank them (if even just mentally) for their contribution in our lives. Every goodbye is a chance to say "I love you" and "thank you for being in my life"... to say "thank you for being you, and for all you have given me just by being you."
All of us enrich each other. Even that guy that cut you off on the freeway... there is something there for us to see, if at the very least it is to see through the illusion and see that maybe they are just having a bad day. That this little piece is not all of them.
What I have expanded upon from these losses is just this: Every one of our days and moments is full of opportunity to see the light in someone - to acknowledge that - and to see beyond anything else that is not that. To allow everyone their own experiences and be in that state of allowing for all things. To know that what anyone else does is their own experience, and hope that it fills them up with joy. To wish everyone well, and to especially be in a state of gratitude for everyone who has been in your life - from the smallest to the-very-center-of-your-heart. This is not a piece of cake sometimes, but it is important to just try and remember... to start to shift to this perspective.
Express to someone your gratitude for them today. Tell them you love them. Acknowledge something that they have contributed to your life. Celebrate them when it comes to mind to do so, and mean it. Come from your heart and see them - who they really are - and the gift that they are to your life.
As my aunt readies herself to pass, I feel the excitement of her next step on a spirit level. I thank her for being the amazing being she is, for being the loving and supporting aunt she has always been, for her kindness, and for everything she took on for everyone around her. I thank her for all that she has been, and wish her the best ever on her journey ahead. I celebrate her life and her love, and I thank you - Maryanne - for who you are.
Love to All,
Holly
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Limitations, Jealousy and a Scorpion
Aloha Everyone!
Today was an eventful day, for a clean-the-house/wrap-things-up day in my pajamas. While cleaning, some information came to me in regards to limitations and jealousy. Now - I have had my fair share of jealousy and limiting beliefs... Quite a bit of this has fallen away recently, yet I acknowledge the layers thing - that cycles come and layers fall away, and all is a process.
Back to the jealousy and limitation. So the energy of Jealousy stems from lack - any time you look at someone and say, "I wish I had that" or whatevers, and that ugly-gooey comes up, it is simply just a belief in yourself that you do not have whatever-it-is. BUT! What would happen if instead we rejoiced and celebrated with someone who has what we are wanting? What would happen if you placed yourself inside that joy? Like, for reals. Not a "heh heh I am so happy for you", half-hearted kine thing. What if we allowed ourselves pure joy?
What comes naturally for me is to be happy for people. What comes naturally is to be in joy for whatever people are having, and excitement comes when I see someone having what I would like to experience... as long as I have let go of beliefs of lack. If that shadow crosses my heart when I see someone having something I would like to experience, I stop for a moment. I ask myself if I truly want to have that. I look at why I think I cannot have that. I check the lies I have about not being able to have that. And then, usually, all of the limiting beliefs dissolve. I remember that I can have anything I want. I remember that I am the creator in my life. I remember that whatever experience I choose to have, the Whole of the Universe and The Big Burrito in the Sky are supporting me. I speak it and it is so, and so I choose my words and thoughts carefully. If something shows up in my experience that I don't think I "ordered" off the the Menu of Life Experiences, I look at it before throwing a fit about it. Well, most of the time. Sometimes, I forget. And then I remember again. =)
An example: Today I discovered a scorpion in my house - the first live one I have seen here in Hawaii, and I was a bit surprised, but not really. I moved into my new place at the beginning of April, and I moved into a dryer climate of the island where I had heard the scorpions were. Not, you know, the band. The creature. Anyhow. I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would, and I put it in a pyrex, put the lid on, and kept it until I finished doing what I was doing. I knew I shouldn't kill it, and after/during looking up the meaning of "scorpion" online, taking what resonated, asked Spirit what this was about.
First, even before I moved in I asked about scorpions and centipedes and what the deal was with them at this place. Two days after I moved in I found a huge 8-inch centipede in my house. Now I find the 4-inch-or-so scorpion. So... yes. I did ask, "Are there any scorpions here? How are the centipedes?" and they answered in person. So, again... careful with my words.
Second, I have been getting more clear on what I am here to do... at least in part. Part of my purpose is about being a bridge for beings in other dimensions... including spirits who have not crossed over. I have helped a few cross over, and have spoken with other beings in other dimensions, helped to make peace with this dimension and others in various ways. The scorpion is a symbol and confirmation of this, as the scorpion has been a symbol of death, transformation, darkness, power and many other things in different cultures.
So instead of freaking out about a scorpion being in my house, I stopped for just a few minutes. I asked what the messages were. I saw that the scorpion itself was lost, and I let it go outside. And then I sprayed insect deterrent around my house (another energy of the scorpion - protection), courtesy of my neighbor. Baby steps. Asking. Doing. Knowing that I am the creator in my life, and that I am supported no matter what it may look like.
This has been a good day. Insights on lack beliefs, turning those around and living in joy, and a scorpion with a few messages.
May your every day be blessed, and focused upon the knowing that we all have everything we need... and step forward in the knowing that All Is Well.
Happy and Joyful Creating to you!
Holly
P.S. Here it is again, with my hand to show the size a bit better:
Today was an eventful day, for a clean-the-house/wrap-things-up day in my pajamas. While cleaning, some information came to me in regards to limitations and jealousy. Now - I have had my fair share of jealousy and limiting beliefs... Quite a bit of this has fallen away recently, yet I acknowledge the layers thing - that cycles come and layers fall away, and all is a process.
Back to the jealousy and limitation. So the energy of Jealousy stems from lack - any time you look at someone and say, "I wish I had that" or whatevers, and that ugly-gooey comes up, it is simply just a belief in yourself that you do not have whatever-it-is. BUT! What would happen if instead we rejoiced and celebrated with someone who has what we are wanting? What would happen if you placed yourself inside that joy? Like, for reals. Not a "heh heh I am so happy for you", half-hearted kine thing. What if we allowed ourselves pure joy?
What comes naturally for me is to be happy for people. What comes naturally is to be in joy for whatever people are having, and excitement comes when I see someone having what I would like to experience... as long as I have let go of beliefs of lack. If that shadow crosses my heart when I see someone having something I would like to experience, I stop for a moment. I ask myself if I truly want to have that. I look at why I think I cannot have that. I check the lies I have about not being able to have that. And then, usually, all of the limiting beliefs dissolve. I remember that I can have anything I want. I remember that I am the creator in my life. I remember that whatever experience I choose to have, the Whole of the Universe and The Big Burrito in the Sky are supporting me. I speak it and it is so, and so I choose my words and thoughts carefully. If something shows up in my experience that I don't think I "ordered" off the the Menu of Life Experiences, I look at it before throwing a fit about it. Well, most of the time. Sometimes, I forget. And then I remember again. =)
An example: Today I discovered a scorpion in my house - the first live one I have seen here in Hawaii, and I was a bit surprised, but not really. I moved into my new place at the beginning of April, and I moved into a dryer climate of the island where I had heard the scorpions were. Not, you know, the band. The creature. Anyhow. I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would, and I put it in a pyrex, put the lid on, and kept it until I finished doing what I was doing. I knew I shouldn't kill it, and after/during looking up the meaning of "scorpion" online, taking what resonated, asked Spirit what this was about.
First, even before I moved in I asked about scorpions and centipedes and what the deal was with them at this place. Two days after I moved in I found a huge 8-inch centipede in my house. Now I find the 4-inch-or-so scorpion. So... yes. I did ask, "Are there any scorpions here? How are the centipedes?" and they answered in person. So, again... careful with my words.
Second, I have been getting more clear on what I am here to do... at least in part. Part of my purpose is about being a bridge for beings in other dimensions... including spirits who have not crossed over. I have helped a few cross over, and have spoken with other beings in other dimensions, helped to make peace with this dimension and others in various ways. The scorpion is a symbol and confirmation of this, as the scorpion has been a symbol of death, transformation, darkness, power and many other things in different cultures.
So instead of freaking out about a scorpion being in my house, I stopped for just a few minutes. I asked what the messages were. I saw that the scorpion itself was lost, and I let it go outside. And then I sprayed insect deterrent around my house (another energy of the scorpion - protection), courtesy of my neighbor. Baby steps. Asking. Doing. Knowing that I am the creator in my life, and that I am supported no matter what it may look like.
This has been a good day. Insights on lack beliefs, turning those around and living in joy, and a scorpion with a few messages.
May your every day be blessed, and focused upon the knowing that we all have everything we need... and step forward in the knowing that All Is Well.
Happy and Joyful Creating to you!
Holly
P.S. Here it is again, with my hand to show the size a bit better:
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Praying Mantis Magic (from January 27, 2012)
So... Today was not the most "with it" day I have ever had. It was more like a not-so-much, I-feel-like-I-am-metamorphosizing-right-in-front-of-your-eyes, gooey-energy day.
Anyhow, I was able to meditate a bit before going back to work towards the end of the day, and stabilize myself a bit. I went to the gas station, and while filling the tank saw this amazing praying mantis sitting on the edge of the trashcan, facing a bit away from me. I said hello mentally, like I usually do to the tiny things in life (and sometimes out loud, depending, but anyhow)... It turned around and looked directly at me, and walked around the edge of the trashcan and just sat looking directly at me. I noticed its left front leg was a bit injured as it walked over. I was thinking that maybe it wanted to come with me, and as I put out my sleeve for it to jump on or no, it flew directly into the car. The door was not all the way open - just a bit but it flew directly in. I thought, "Well. That answers that... and how cool!"
So I drove back to work in the work car, to which this little spirit did not want to get out of quite yet. I saw that maybe it wanted to go to my house, in the green, so I finished up at work and went back to the work car. I put my hand out - again, for it to crawl onto or no. It did, and I took it to my car. On the way to the car it stood on my fingertips, reaching up to the stars, but not flying away. It slept on the passenger seat of my car all the way home, and once there, did not want to be on the coffee plant, nor the banana leaf, but as I was passing the lilikoi vines it reached out for them.
It was such a wonderful experience - helping this spirit to where it wanted to be, and enjoying its company along the way. =)
Just wanted to share the magic... A nice reminder to slow down, listen and find amazement - even at a gas station, on a very "gooey" day. =)
Poem - The Possibilities 12.18.11
The Possibilities
It is Possible
That this may be
The most Beautiful thing
Ever created
And so I will not
Entertain
any Rules
or Regulations
or Chicken-Little-Sky-Is-Falling pictures
of Catastrophe
that You may have about it
It is Possible
For two people
to Love
and Create such a Light
that the World is Uplifted
Both creating the Awareness
of Possibility
and Destroying
the Paradigms
Set before them
It is Possible
For two people
to Love
one another
so Greatly
that should it be Time
to say goodbye
they would still love Each other
Enough
to still Hold each other
in that very same Light
and so I will not
entertain
any rules
or regulations
or chicken-little-sky-is-falling pictures
of catastrophe
that you may have about it
It is Possible
that This may be
the most Beautiful Thing
Ever Created
It is Possible.
-HB
12.18.11
It is Possible
That this may be
The most Beautiful thing
Ever created
And so I will not
Entertain
any Rules
or Regulations
or Chicken-Little-Sky-Is-Falling pictures
of Catastrophe
that You may have about it
It is Possible
For two people
to Love
and Create such a Light
that the World is Uplifted
Both creating the Awareness
of Possibility
and Destroying
the Paradigms
Set before them
It is Possible
For two people
to Love
one another
so Greatly
that should it be Time
to say goodbye
they would still love Each other
Enough
to still Hold each other
in that very same Light
and so I will not
entertain
any rules
or regulations
or chicken-little-sky-is-falling pictures
of catastrophe
that you may have about it
It is Possible
that This may be
the most Beautiful Thing
Ever Created
It is Possible.
-HB
12.18.11
Soul Mate - "Rocket of Intuition" 10.26.11
Just now I was reading the words "soul mate", and getting the intuition that perhaps it means when one's own soul is fully embodied. I was reading the Hawaiian Oracle cards in which one description talked about the red and gold combination (worn by the Royals/Ali'i here). The message came in that they wore these colors because, as Ali'i, they were fully integrated - body and soul, red and gold.
I decided to look up "mate" from "yerba mate". Yerba means herb and mate means gourd, or cup. In many religions and thought centers the body is considered a "temple" that the soul inhabits, an "empty cup" that the soul fills, etc.
Through the years I have heard that I am my own soulmate. I have to say that this has not been a thrilling proposal, because I have really wanted to find my "person", my "soul mate", my "one". With this new information, more comes together in regards to truly being a "cup that runeth over" with my own spirit... To be fully "in-bodied"/embodied... and then meet my match of someone fully embodied themselves. Two full cups. Soul Mates, "cups" filled with "soul", and experiencing relationship together.
I call this a "rocket of intuition" because sometimes things come as a rocket... some other things come as a meandering rumination.
In any case, I wish all of you find first yourself as your Soul Mate - that your cups be so full of yourself that you runneth over with your brilliant light.
Shine on,
Holly
P.S... More info... When you look at the word "soul", it is also "sol"/"sun"/"light". So, in other words, "Soul Mate" literally means "full cup of light" or "full of your own divine essence". =)
I decided to look up "mate" from "yerba mate". Yerba means herb and mate means gourd, or cup. In many religions and thought centers the body is considered a "temple" that the soul inhabits, an "empty cup" that the soul fills, etc.
Through the years I have heard that I am my own soulmate. I have to say that this has not been a thrilling proposal, because I have really wanted to find my "person", my "soul mate", my "one". With this new information, more comes together in regards to truly being a "cup that runeth over" with my own spirit... To be fully "in-bodied"/embodied... and then meet my match of someone fully embodied themselves. Two full cups. Soul Mates, "cups" filled with "soul", and experiencing relationship together.
I call this a "rocket of intuition" because sometimes things come as a rocket... some other things come as a meandering rumination.
In any case, I wish all of you find first yourself as your Soul Mate - that your cups be so full of yourself that you runneth over with your brilliant light.
Shine on,
Holly
P.S... More info... When you look at the word "soul", it is also "sol"/"sun"/"light". So, in other words, "Soul Mate" literally means "full cup of light" or "full of your own divine essence". =)
Poem - Volcano 9.27.11
Volcano
Listen to me
When I tell you
That this Passion I have
Must come out
Somehow
If I cannot be direct
If I cannot share this
Outpouring
It must flow around
and about
and encompass
I must stand up
and tell Everyone
without telling them
Your Name
I must paint the strokes
of these feelings
without distinguishing
Your Face
But it must come out
Somehow
all of this burn
all of this liquid fire
Because I can no longer
Keep it in
Under the Dark
Deep
Cracks
of Uncertainty.
- HB 9.27.11
Listen to me
When I tell you
That this Passion I have
Must come out
Somehow
If I cannot be direct
If I cannot share this
Outpouring
It must flow around
and about
and encompass
I must stand up
and tell Everyone
without telling them
Your Name
I must paint the strokes
of these feelings
without distinguishing
Your Face
But it must come out
Somehow
all of this burn
all of this liquid fire
Because I can no longer
Keep it in
Under the Dark
Deep
Cracks
of Uncertainty.
- HB 9.27.11
All groups of Peoples have lessons to teach us as a Humanity (from August 25, 2011)
All groups of Peoples have lessons to teach us as a Humanity.
The Black Peoples taught us that race does not define human vs. non-human. That the color of our skin only goes so deep - that we are all Humanity.
The Gay Peoples taught us that gender does not define love or relationships. That Love is soul-ly from the heart, not solely from the opposite gender.
The Transgendered Peoples bring us a message that our physical bodies do not define our gender. That who we are is a spirit in a body, and that our body is malleable and changeable to reflect Who We Are.
Any oppressed peoples that have been viewed as lesser than know these struggles. The Peoples who have come to bring us messages have had to endure battles to get to a point where their messages would be heard. In some places, these groups above STILL are battling. There are other groups still out there that endure the hatred of being different, yet they bring us - as a Peoples - great teachings.
Look inside your heart. Listen to it. See what lessons and doors there are to open in regards to your hatred towards these groups and any other group.
Open your awareness to the Beauty of All, to the Value of All, to the Love of All.
Release the Locks of your Judgments and open all of your doors, all of your windows, and see what miracles occur in your life.
The Black Peoples taught us that race does not define human vs. non-human. That the color of our skin only goes so deep - that we are all Humanity.
The Gay Peoples taught us that gender does not define love or relationships. That Love is soul-ly from the heart, not solely from the opposite gender.
The Transgendered Peoples bring us a message that our physical bodies do not define our gender. That who we are is a spirit in a body, and that our body is malleable and changeable to reflect Who We Are.
Any oppressed peoples that have been viewed as lesser than know these struggles. The Peoples who have come to bring us messages have had to endure battles to get to a point where their messages would be heard. In some places, these groups above STILL are battling. There are other groups still out there that endure the hatred of being different, yet they bring us - as a Peoples - great teachings.
Look inside your heart. Listen to it. See what lessons and doors there are to open in regards to your hatred towards these groups and any other group.
Open your awareness to the Beauty of All, to the Value of All, to the Love of All.
Release the Locks of your Judgments and open all of your doors, all of your windows, and see what miracles occur in your life.
Rumination 7.24.11
If you see the universe as Love Itself, and know that the Universe does not tolerate a void, then know this: anything that is NOT happening in your life is because you have filled it with your own expectations and energy, blocking Love to truly enter and Grace to flow. Pull back your energy from whatever it is that you are wanting, and watch Love's Miracle occur. Love cannot help but rush into that now empty space and fill it with all of your dreams and more.
Rumination of the Morning 7.23.11
"I see now how so many times I sent my wishes up to be fulfilled, yet stood strong in the center of the Stream of Life wondering why I did not receive the things I wished for...fighting the current all the while. Had I only let go and floated with the current, I would have been exactly where those gifts showed up. The Universe has impeccable timing, and I must keep moving with the flow to receive all of its Gifts." - rumination of the morning today...
A Note of Sadness, A Note of Gratitude... (from Tuesday, July 12, 2011)
Aloha Everyone...
I have not told everyone about this, nor intended to blast this all over Facebook, yet I wanted to share this info. for a couple of reasons. One, to let you know what has happened and is happening in my world. Two, so that through this and my family's experience, you may find your own journey with this information and perhaps some gratitude of your own. I apologize in advance for those that will wonder why I did not call them - it is just not something I know how to convey, save the facts that I know. It is also not something easily relatable, nor something anyone has anything they can say about it. It is heavy news.
The news: Friday evening I got a voicemail from my Dad - it was one of "those calls". I knew something had happened. I suspected maybe it was my maternal grandfather or maybe my Uncle Butch - my dad's oldest brother. I had a feeling that sometime I would get a call about either one - my grandpa is older, and my uncle has had some pretty severe health issues within the past year or two. I called my dad back, and we said the usual "hi's"... He said he had some bad news, and I said, "Grandpa?"... He said "No, Butch." I was not prepared for what he said next: "He was murdered."
Apparently, my Uncle Butch had taken in/befriended a couple of troubled kids, which he did through his life - taking in troubled kids/adults and giving everyone a second chance. He had a huge heart. The younger kid - a 16 year old - and another 20 year old that the kid knew are the ones that took his life. My uncle was beaten to death in his home and then robbed. There are other details, but I only share as much as I did here as more of an FYI, to let you know what is going on/happened.
The sadness I have for the way he left this world is indescribable... He was a bright spirit on this planet and a gentle soul... combined with an enormous appreciation for expression and humor. He was unique in many ways - he had a gentle warmth and acceptance of people that was palpable. He just was who he was and took everyone else that way too.
I share this with you - again - to convey what is going on in my world, and in my family's world. To ask that you send support to them and grace and healing. This is something that happens on CSI or Law and Order, but not in real families... until it does. So, in part, I ask for your thoughts and prayers of support as all of us go through our individual processes of healing with this.
I also share this because I have found a level of gratitude and compassion that I have not been in before, and maybe by reading this you will find a piece of it of your own. Through these last few days, I have found a huge space of gratitude for having known such a beautiful spirit as my uncle. I am so grateful and honored that I was fortunate enough to have him as part of my family and to have known him. Along with that, I am so grateful for my family... I have been blessed to have amazing and wonderful spirits in my lineage, and as my current family. I have also been blessed with the wonderful friends in my life, my chosen family. With these events, I have found a deeper level of gratitude for all of our individualities and for people in general.
Further in the gratitude department, I have found such gratitude for my sobriety. I was once out there, drinking and using. The kids who did this to my uncle are out there and lost souls themselves. I could have easily become who they have become, and am grateful to have made different choices. I am also grateful that I do not carry the burden that they now carry - to have taken the life of a gentle and beautiful being. No matter what verdict comes of the case, no matter what bravado or personality (twisted or no) that they may have in this life, they still/now carry that mark of harming and taking the life of an Innocent. It is a very heavy burden to bear.
So in all of this, I have found sorrow, to great depths. I have also found gratitude to great heights and breadths. I have found humility and compassion also to greater depths. Though I mourn the loss of such a gentle and warm light going out in this world, I have the deepest gratitude for the depths I now feel and the awareness this has brought.
I send my love and Hugs to all of you, and wishes that this may touch you in some way...to ignite you in whatever area it may effect you as well.
Love,
Holly
I have not told everyone about this, nor intended to blast this all over Facebook, yet I wanted to share this info. for a couple of reasons. One, to let you know what has happened and is happening in my world. Two, so that through this and my family's experience, you may find your own journey with this information and perhaps some gratitude of your own. I apologize in advance for those that will wonder why I did not call them - it is just not something I know how to convey, save the facts that I know. It is also not something easily relatable, nor something anyone has anything they can say about it. It is heavy news.
The news: Friday evening I got a voicemail from my Dad - it was one of "those calls". I knew something had happened. I suspected maybe it was my maternal grandfather or maybe my Uncle Butch - my dad's oldest brother. I had a feeling that sometime I would get a call about either one - my grandpa is older, and my uncle has had some pretty severe health issues within the past year or two. I called my dad back, and we said the usual "hi's"... He said he had some bad news, and I said, "Grandpa?"... He said "No, Butch." I was not prepared for what he said next: "He was murdered."
Apparently, my Uncle Butch had taken in/befriended a couple of troubled kids, which he did through his life - taking in troubled kids/adults and giving everyone a second chance. He had a huge heart. The younger kid - a 16 year old - and another 20 year old that the kid knew are the ones that took his life. My uncle was beaten to death in his home and then robbed. There are other details, but I only share as much as I did here as more of an FYI, to let you know what is going on/happened.
The sadness I have for the way he left this world is indescribable... He was a bright spirit on this planet and a gentle soul... combined with an enormous appreciation for expression and humor. He was unique in many ways - he had a gentle warmth and acceptance of people that was palpable. He just was who he was and took everyone else that way too.
I share this with you - again - to convey what is going on in my world, and in my family's world. To ask that you send support to them and grace and healing. This is something that happens on CSI or Law and Order, but not in real families... until it does. So, in part, I ask for your thoughts and prayers of support as all of us go through our individual processes of healing with this.
I also share this because I have found a level of gratitude and compassion that I have not been in before, and maybe by reading this you will find a piece of it of your own. Through these last few days, I have found a huge space of gratitude for having known such a beautiful spirit as my uncle. I am so grateful and honored that I was fortunate enough to have him as part of my family and to have known him. Along with that, I am so grateful for my family... I have been blessed to have amazing and wonderful spirits in my lineage, and as my current family. I have also been blessed with the wonderful friends in my life, my chosen family. With these events, I have found a deeper level of gratitude for all of our individualities and for people in general.
Further in the gratitude department, I have found such gratitude for my sobriety. I was once out there, drinking and using. The kids who did this to my uncle are out there and lost souls themselves. I could have easily become who they have become, and am grateful to have made different choices. I am also grateful that I do not carry the burden that they now carry - to have taken the life of a gentle and beautiful being. No matter what verdict comes of the case, no matter what bravado or personality (twisted or no) that they may have in this life, they still/now carry that mark of harming and taking the life of an Innocent. It is a very heavy burden to bear.
So in all of this, I have found sorrow, to great depths. I have also found gratitude to great heights and breadths. I have found humility and compassion also to greater depths. Though I mourn the loss of such a gentle and warm light going out in this world, I have the deepest gratitude for the depths I now feel and the awareness this has brought.
I send my love and Hugs to all of you, and wishes that this may touch you in some way...to ignite you in whatever area it may effect you as well.
Love,
Holly
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